Big Brother's Fitness Twins

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Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Oh gosh, I just found the official site of the twins from Big Brother 5, and that is freakin' hilarious. Also, since they apparently set up the site in August, how is that possible, since they were supposedly "sequestered?" I sense shenanigans. Shenanigans, I say! These two are the cheesiest girls on the planet. I couldn't believe, after the little opening movie on their front page plays, it says "Fitness is fun!" Way too much cheeriness in these two. Still, they produced some of my favorite reality TV moments, such as when their faith told them to put up the black guy and the gay guy for eviction. Yeah, real Christian, ladies. Thanks for giving us all a bad name.

Even God knows Bush is bad and Cheney's evil

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Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Oh it's true! See, this picture conclusively proves it. OK, maybe not, but still. I actually think God's nonpartisan. There's no way he would have let all the evangelical Christians be Republicans if he got involved in politics directly.

UPDATE!: I originally titled this "Even God knows Bush is bad and Kerry's evil." Cheney's mind control must be working! I hear he's already working on an evil weather machine to get revenge after this destruction of Florida by God.

"He's a flip-flopper! Flippity flop flop flip!"

Hey everybody, be sure to stay tuned, as I have some audio updates planned that will hopefully go up this weekend, covering my rock and roll weekend over Labor Day weekend at Seattle's Bumbershoot. Anyways, to hold you over, here is a laugh out loud bit, courtesy of ABC News' The Note. It's the way that Democrats want you to look at Bush, and the way that Republicans want you to look at Kerry. Enjoy!

ABCNEWS.com : ABC News' The Note: First Source for Political News: "Thus, George Bush as brought to you by the Democrats and the GOP version of John Kerry :



BUSH TIMELINE

Born (with a silver spoon in his mouth) to patrician New England family in New Haven on July 6, 1946.

Prep school cheerleader.

Young and irresponsible %u2014 and vaguely so.

'I was not prepared to shoot my eardrum out with a shotgun in order to get a deferment. Nor was I willing to go to Canada. So I chose to better myself by learning how to fly airplanes.'

AWOL, physical-dodging, hard-partying bogus flyboy.

Failed businessman with continuing young and irresponsible behavior (a.k.a.: the Kitty Kelley years).

Powerless, faux-bipartisan governor of Texas.

Over-promising, vague, McCain-savaging presidential candidate.

Supreme-Court-manipulating, illegitimate president-elect.

Right-wing, war-mongering, environment-destroying, special-interest-controlled, daddy-revenge-seeking, stem-cell-research-crushing, vacation-taking, tax-cutting, neo-con puppet POTUS.



KERRY TIMELINE

Privileged, French boy with ambiguous cultural heritage.

Preternaturally ambitious prepster.

Medal-seeking, exploit-filming, fabricating, wimpy-yet-overly-aggressive Swift Boat exploiter.

Medal-throwing, Fonda-consorting, Genghis-Khan-citing anti-war radical.

Money-marrying, rich-man's-sports-loving pretty boy.

District-shopping, Dukakis-hugging, hyper-ambitious pol.

Uber-liberal, do-nothing, anti-military, tax-raising senator.

Howard-Dean-aping, flip-flopping, Iraq-war-bobbing, Gore-like presidential candidate."

Rescue Me

This show is just genius. I've missed out on a few of these cable TV phenomenas, but I am in the ground floor with this one, baby. They're actually branding this one a TV MA, so they can get away with violence, adult situations, adult language, etc. Plus, it's got Denis Leary. Now that's good TV. Be sure to check it out, every Wednesday night at 10 PM on FX.

Wait, am I a Republican? According to Arnold...

Here's what Arnold had to say on the matter:
 
"My fellow immigrants, my fellow Americans, how do you know if you are a Republican? I'll tell you how.
 
If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government...then you are a Republican! If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group... then you are a Republican! If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... then you are a Republican! If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican! If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican! And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican!
 
There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ... and faith in the U.S. economy."
 
OK, let's go point by point:
 
"If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government..."
 
Yup.
 
"If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group..."
 
Hey, I agree with that one too!
 
"If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does..."
 
My family? Maybe, though probably not. Most families? No way.
 
"If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ..."
 
Sure! Not the way this standardized testing and teaching to the test do it, but sure, schools should be accountable.
 
"If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world..."
 
Mmm, I think they're both good. Split decision.
 
"And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ..."
 
Completely agreed. We do need to "terminate" terrorism. Gosh, can he go five minutes without referencing one of his films?
 
"You have faith in free enterprise..."
 
Nope, I don't. I think that a completely free market just helps the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. There have to be some restrictions.
 
"...faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ..."
 
Yup, I've got tons of faith in the American people and their resourcefulness.
 
"...and faith in the U.S. economy."
 
Mmm, well, I think it will come back eventually, but this "recovery" isn't really much of one. So, split decision.
 
So, final tally:
 
Agreed: Five points.
 
Disagreed: Two points.
 
Split: Two points.
 
But I'm still not a Republican.

The Governator at the RNC

How appropriate that the man who declared "I'll be bahhhhck" inspired me to return to my blog! Sorry, things have been pretty crazy. Still, I had to give mad props to my man Ah-nold for an electrifying speech as a part of the Republican National Convention. If I was a Republican, I would have been putty in his big, manly hands. If you get the chance, I highly recommend checking out his speech online. That had to be the highlight of night two of the RNC. Well, that and the Bush daughters. But not because of anything they said.