Political quiz: Iz yoo smahrt?

Those wiseguys at the Columbia Journalism Review think you're stupid. They think you can't answer these questions. Hey, they think that I can't answer these questions! Oh yeah? Well it's on baby, it's on!

CJR Campaign Desk Home: "1) In what magazine were the Bush twins recently featured wearing formal gowns?

Vanity Fair, bitches!

2) John Kerry wants to increase the minimum wage to what level?

Uhhhh... Ummmm... 8.20? I just made that up.


3) Who is Washingtonienne, and what is her real name?

She was involved in a sex scandal, which she detailed in lurid detail via her blog. And her name... Uh... Er... Mm... Jessica. Jessica... Keats.

4) By how much do Kerry and Edwards say they will reduce the federal budget deficit?

I'll go with, to zero. They'll get rid of it.

5) What did Wolf Blitzer need to apologize for shortly after John Kerry's acceptance speech and subsequent celebration at the Democratic convention?

Wolfy had to apologize for the convention's producer's audio accidentally going over the air, yelling about the fact that balloons weren't falling and uttering the F word in his no-balloon rant.

6) President Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' initiative calls for the testing of every child in which grades?

K through 12.

7) Which daughter-of-a-candidate showed up at the Cannes film festival in a see-through black dress?

Alexandra Kerry! I know that one! That dirty, dirty girl.

8) How do Bush and Kerry differ on how to implement the Sept. 11 Commission's recommendation for the creation of a national intelligence director?

Kerry thinks that it should be a cabinet level position, while President Bush says it should be outside the White House.

9) Which Hollywood celebrity and Beantown native was considered 'ubiquitous' last week in Boston?

Ben Affleck. That guy loves those TV cameras. Or movie cameras. Or digital cameras. Or, really, anything that will look at him.

10) How many jobs have been gained or lost during Bush's time in office?

The cumulative total says that Bush has lost us one million jobs.

OK, let's see what the real answers are:

1) It was Vogue! Darn it.

2) Kerry wants it upped to 7 bucks an hour, from 5.15. I guess I'm spoiled by living in Washington state, where we already have a minimum wage that I think is over seven bucks.

3) Washingtonienne is Jessica Cutler. I was right about the blog thing, and her first name. I guess I shouldn't have just inserted a random poet for the last time.

4) Kerry and Edwards say they will reduce the federal budget by half. Well, I was only, er, half off.

5) I was RIGHT about Blitzer's apology! Yay!

6) No Child Left Behind only tests grades three through eight. D'oh!

7) Right again about Alexandra Kerry! Love that!

8) Right again about the new national intelligence directo!

9) Affleck makes three in a row!

10) OK, one point one million jobs have been lost. Close enough. I'm counting that one, darn it. 1.8 million private sector jobs were lost, with 700,000 public sector jobs added.

So, I ended up with four questions correct. They say you're a moron if you got three or less right. They also say that you should be more concerned with knowing the even questions, because they're on the issues that "matter." The other ones are a bit more trivial, so they recommend you finding a new way to get your news if you know just those ones. Hey, screw you, I'll get my news the way I want to get it! *wins*