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Mario & Mr. Belvedere on ice!

2006-05-26T20:07:00.000-07:00

Holy crap. Mario versus Mr. Belvedere. ON ICE.

Best Week Ever - YOUTUBULAR: Mario & Mr. Belvedere - On Ice!

craftgrrl: super mario 3 scarf

2006-05-17T20:43:00.000-07:00

I want this scarf.

craftgrrl: super mario 3 scarf

Hillary and those damn kids

2006-05-16T17:59:00.000-07:00

Have middle aged people been talking down about young people since the beginning of time? From a recent Hillary Clinton speech:

"Senator Clinton continued, "I'm talking about kids from across the economic spectrum. Kids for whatever reason think they're entitled to right to the top with $50,000 or $75,000 jobs when they have not done anything to earn their way up."...

Naturally, Clinton's speech didn't sit well with young people. Among them, her own daughter, Chelsea, who called up to give the senator a piece of her curly-headed mind, and triggered a bit of a reversal yesterday when Hilary spoke at Long Island University. The senator said there, "My daughter heard that I'd said that, and she called and she said, 'Mom, I do work hard and my friends work hard."

Comedy Central: Shows - The Daily Show With Jon Stewart - Politics

Tessla coils rule

2006-05-16T17:23:00.000-07:00

98272227_4f6f848bd4
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Cool.

God or the Girl

2006-04-20T13:01:00.000-07:00

Has anyone seen this mini-series on A & E? The show follows four young men discerning whether to become a Catholic priest or to pursue the married life. It's a fascinating look at a dilemma faced by faithful young men in the Catholic church. I find it sad that Catholics are forced to make this choice. I do understand the idea of completely devoting yourself to God, but as a Protestant, I think that it's still possible to be fully devoted to God while still having a wife. There's been a lot of talk about potential changes in the Catholic church, but it seems unlikely due to the church leadership and the way that it perpetuates more leaders of a similar mindset.

Go Home, Commie!

2006-04-19T22:28:00.000-07:00

Funk music against communists? Did I hear someone say "Holy awesome?" Download it here: Go Home, Commie!

Courtesy of The Sound of Young America: Go Home, Commie!

Tivo Geek

2006-04-09T03:31:00.000-07:00

I'm such a geek, I used my Tivo to pause and watch all of this. *sigh*

MegaZone's Safety Valve - That long, fast scrolling list from tonight's The Daily Show: "On tonight's The Daily Show there was a bit where Rob Corddry was a racist, and a list of people he hated scrolled by - very quickly. Obviously a joke for TiVo users - read the list.

Black
Guatemalan
Jewish
Roman Catholic
Irish
Haitian
Pakistani
Indian
African
Twins
French
Estonian
Dutch
Moroccan
Unitarian
Dominican
Hungarian
Hispanic
Lebanese
Lebanese Christian
Lesbian Christian
Chinese
Latvian
Polish
Costa Rican
Penobscot Indian
Sicilian
Hmong
Black Hmong
Circumsized
Fatty
Tlingit
Inuit
Luxembourgian
Jerry Lewis
Ecuadorian
TiVo List Pauser
Hawaiian
NPR Listener
Turkish
Japanese
Buddhist
Sue Grafton
Greek Orthodox
Amish
Belgian
Mohawk Indian
Hindu
Mary-Kate & Ashley
Puerto Rican
Gay
Bisexual
Lesbian
Bicurious
College Lesbian
Sunni
Seriously Stop Pausing This
What Do You Think This is, Lost?
4 8 15 16 23 42
P.T. Cruiser Owner
Nepalese
Boy Scout Troop 19
Canadian
Hawken School Class of 89
Colombian
From Either Dakota
Stephen Colbert
Scientologist
Hungarian
Elderly
Mahjong Enthusiast
Hoosier
Pig Latino
Ephesian
Philippian
Corinthian
Quebecois
Welsh
Highlander
Narnian
Jedi
Australian
Malaysian
Danish
Eritrean
Mormon
Greek Orthodox
Korean (North)
Korean (South)
Newfoundlander
Terrier
Navy Seal
Jewish (Reform)
Butch Bottom
Pre-Op Transsexual
Post-Op Transsexual
Hermaphrodite
Metalhead
Michigander
Michiganian
Kool-Aid Guy
Jewish (Conservative)
Ambidextrous
Encephalitic
Microcephalic
Homodontic
Omniverous
Marsupial
Jewish (Orthodox)
Carnivorous
Vegan
Jim Belushi
Size Queen
Chiropractor
Jewish (For Jesus)
Red-Headed
Asthmatic
Spastic
Adopted
Cablinasian
Ectomorphic
Hemophiliac
Serbian
Croatian
Kurdish
Pacific Islander
Aleut
Albino
Texan
Toddler
Seventh-Day Adventist
Samoan
Diabetic
Zoroastrian
Swiss
Zambian
Flemish
Corsican
South African (Except The Whites)
Someone Who Only Gets Their News From The Daily Show
Hutu
Tutsi
Kazakhstani
Belarussian
Ukrainian
Moravian
Aborigine
Oaxacan
Lakota Indian
Sioux
English
Austrian
Malaygian
Mennonite
Carny
Bolivian
Micronesian
Puerto Rican
Cuban
Canadian
Guyanan
Guyanan (French)
Tanzanian
Portuguese
Toll Booth Worker
Jordanian
Peruvian
Israeli
Arab Israeli
Mayan
Nascar Dad
Maoist
Soccer Mom
Finnish
Druid
Persian
Comp Lit Major
Iranian
Honduran
Deadsiluap
Listpauser@yahoo.com
Star Bellied Snitches
Swazilandian
Norwegian
Drifter
Basque
Paraguayan
Tongan
Albanian
Libyan
Greek
Azerbaijani
Kashmiri"

Samuel Alito: Educate yourself

2005-12-08T20:39:00.000-08:00

So, what do you know about Samuel Alito? Do you think he should become a member of our nation's Supreme Court? Do what you can to educate yourself, and make your opinion heard by writing to your local congressional representative. Personally, I think that he's a poor choice for the Supreme Court with some potentially dangerous views, but it's your responsibility to do the research and find out about him for yourself. You can find out more about Mr. Alito at the following links:

Nonpartisan:
Samuel Alito Wikipedia entry

Progressive:
Alito's America (Campus Progress/Center for American Progress)
People For The American Way's Preliminary Review of Judge Alito (PDF)

Conservative:
Progress for America's JudgeAlito.com

Live 8

2005-07-02T14:55:00.000-07:00

The Live 8 concerts have been a blast to watch, and it's part of such a wonderful cause. While I think that they should be working harder to get the average person to contribute to the cause, they're focusing on getting widespread support for world leaders to help eradicate the extreme poverty of Africa in just a generation. I've included a quote from concert organizer Bob Geldof below, and you can check out Live 8 or the One Campaign for more on this event, what it means, and what you can do to help.

LIVE 8 - what's it about: "Bob Geldof:

'This is not Live Aid 2.

These concerts are the start point for The Long Walk To Justice, the one way we can all make our voices heard in unison.

This is without doubt a moment in history where ordinary people can grasp the chance to achieve something truly monumental and demand from the 8 world leaders at G8 an end to poverty.

The G8 leaders have it within their power to alter history. They will only have the will to do so if tens of thousands of people show them that enough is enough.

By doubling aid, fully cancelling debt, and delivering trade justice for Africa, the G8 could change the future for millions of men, women and children.'"

We're losing, which means we're winning?

2005-05-24T12:38:00.000-07:00

I'll let this piece of insanity speak for itself. (From Daily Kos)

Q: [...]And if I may ask you, Mr. President, as you know, the casualties of Iraq is again high today -- 50 more people dying. Do you think that insurgence is getting harder now to defeat militarily? Thank you.
PRESIDENT BUSH: No, I don't think so. I think they're being defeated. And that's why they continue to fight.

Random wrestling thought of the day

2005-05-20T13:39:00.000-07:00

If Batista and Triple H had a baby, would it come out with steroids already flowing through its veins?

Blog_Blair_Pledge_Card

2005-02-13T01:23:00.000-08:00

Blog_Blair_Pledge_Card
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

I think it's absolutely insane that the Democrats can't just get it together and figure out a way to look, you know, sane to the voting public. England's Labor Party figured it out, and the Democrats need to take a cue from them.

The Washington Monthly

"Over on the right is the unveiling of the Labor Party's 2005 "pledge card," a cheap and cheerful list of six things the Laborites say they stand for. Beneath it is a short amount of text expanding (slightly) on each of the six points.

Now, the wording of the points is worth looking at, but it's the marketing itself that's more noteworthy: six simple points, none of them longer than six words. This is accompanied by six explanations, none of them longer than 30 words.

Compare this to the comically inept "New Partnership for America's Future" unveiled by House Democrats a few weeks before the November election. I sagged when I first read it. The pamphlet version had a laundry list of 60 separate topics â 60! â jammed together in small type spanning six pages. The complete version needed nothing less than an entire website to contain its full gloriousness."

Revisiting the Passion of the Christ

2005-02-10T19:16:00.000-08:00

I felt that one of my favorite Christian thinkers (one of the few non-Republican popular Christian thinkers out there), Brian McLaren, made some great points in this article contrasting the Passion of the Christ with Hotel Rwanda. I hope that you can find this enlightening as well. I've included an excerpt, and you can click on the link to read the whole article.

SojoNet: Faith, Politics, and Culture

Revisiting the Passion of the Christ
by Brian D. McLaren

Maybe it's because I spent time last summer in Burundi, the poorer twin sister of Rwanda that shares a similar history, tribal makeup, geography, culture, and terrifying undercurrent of genocide. Maybe it's because while I was there, I met Anglican priests serving in Rwanda who told personal stories of the tragedies there - and their efforts to bring healing and reconciliation in the aftermath. Maybe it's because (some readers may be tempted to write me off after reading this sentence) I was so frustrated by last year's promotional hype surrounding Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ - and I was so frustrated by the movie itself, though I know many found it moving and spiritually edifying. Maybe it's because I have deep concerns about the alignment of major sectors of Christianity with "red-state Republicanism," and I worry that a kind of modernist, nationalist neo-fundamentalism is trying to claim all Christian territory as its sovereign domain.

For whatever reason, when I walked out of the 2005 film Hotel Rwanda this thought wouldn't leave me: If we really had the mind and heart of Christ, this is the movie we would be urging people in our churches to see. In fact, I can't think of a more worthwhile experience for Christian leaders than to watch Hotel Rwanda and then ask themselves questions like these:

Which film would Jesus most want us to see, and why?

Why did so many churches urge people to see Gibson's film, and why did so few (if any?) promote Terry George's film? What do our answers to that question say about us?

What were the practical outcomes of millions of people seeing Gibson's film? And what outcomes might occur if equal numbers saw Hotel Rwanda - as an act of Christian faithfulness?

In what sense could Hotel Rwanda actually be titled The Passion of the Christ?

What do we make of the fact that a high percentage of Rwandans who participated in the 1994 genocides were churchgoers?

What do we make of the fact that a high percentage of the Americans who ignored the 1994 genocides (then and now) were and are churchgoers?

What kind of repentance does each film evoke in Western Christians? Why might the kind of repentance evoked by Hotel Rwanda be especially needed during these important days in history?

Chris Matthews Is Fabulous!

2005-01-20T12:50:00.000-08:00

The most hysterical part of watching inauguration coverage today was when MSNBC's Chris Matthews started going on and on about the First Lady's dress. He kept coming back to the dress and the fashion of others at the event, and I thought for a moment that I was watching Queer Eye For The Straight Guy.

Buy Blue (Or Red)

2005-01-15T13:31:00.000-08:00

So, want to make a difference? Start spending your money with companies that support your values. Of course, my Republican friends out there can play too. Even though the link below is to a Democratic site that ranks companies based on how they rank compared to Democratic values, and by their political contributions, you Republicans out there can just go vote for the ones with a 0% ranking. See? Easy! Have fun everyone, and maybe you'll learn something while you're at it!

Why take Greek?

2004-12-19T01:54:00.000-08:00

As someone who recently took a Greek class, I thought that this letter from Ted Turner's dad to him when he was in college was hilarious. I've included a quote below, and you can click the link to read the whole thing.

: "My dear son:

I am appalled, even horrified, that you have adopted classics as a major. As a matter of fact, I almost puked on my way home today."

Why Local News Is Terrible

2004-12-04T11:15:00.000-08:00

This was a teaser for the local news this past week on my local ABC affiliate:

"At eleven, strange lights hovering over Mount Adams! Are they UFO's?"

UFO's. UFO's. Who writes this stuff? I don't understand how these people still have jobs. Nice "journalistic integrity," folks.

The Los Angeles Angels

2004-11-19T01:48:00.000-08:00

Apparently, everyone's having a hissy fit over changing the name of the Anaheim Angels to the Los Angeles Angels. It makes sense though. People, look at the name of the town. Los Angeles. Anyone who's taken half a semester of high school Spanish, and even someone who hasn't, can see that the town itself is called The Angels. Everyone should get off their high horse and let the team name go back to what it originally was, since it started out in L.A.

2004-11-13T00:22:00.000-08:00

The reason why we will triumph

2004-11-11T01:12:00.000-08:00

se37
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Get them young. That's our new philosophy! Just look at the cute little Democrat. Awwwww! Now, when you have kids, you know what to shoot for. See more pictures of people of all ages who are really sorry about the fact that our country voted for Bush at SorryEverybody.com.

Why Celebrities are Terrible, Terrible People

2004-11-10T18:58:00.000-08:00

According to Defamer, Kirsten Dunst (you know, the Spider-Man chick) and Kate Bosworth (you know, the... wait, no you don't) were smoking at a cancer benefit dinner. They were smoking... at a cancer benefit dinner. So, in conclusion, celebrities are terrible, terrible people.

Take the pledge!

2004-11-10T11:08:00.000-08:00

Thank God for the occasional dose of sanity. Here's Jeff Jarvis's pledge about the election which he made before the results came in. It might be a little harder to put into practice than it is to say, but it's something to strive for.

Quoted on Instapundit: "I will not proclaim that the president is incompetent for failing to magically resolve some tough geopolitical situation, such as North Korea's nukes or the Israel/Palestine problem, unless I can propose something with stronger logic to recommend it than the fact that the president isn't doing it right now.

I will not obsess about trivial details of the president's demeanor, speech patterns, or long-past personal history.

I will not secretly hope that he fails at important goals so that I can elect someone from the other party four years hence.

I will not pretend that the president's budget is better, or worse, than it is, which is to say terrible.

I will not attribute magical powers to the president to heal the economy, large-scale social problems, or the growing rift between my boyfriend and myself on the matter of green vegetables. I will neither praise the president for improvement in these situations, nor criticise him for failing to mend them.

I will not point out all the bad news, or all the good news, while hoping no one notices the other sort.

I will ruthlessly make fun of the president's verbal tics, extravagent promises, and useless programmes.

I will not use my one semester of Psych 101 to make speculative diagnoses of mental disease or defect in the president.

I will assume, until proven otherwise, that the president, like most politicians, is making stupid laws because he wants to appease key interest groups (a.k.a. The American People), not because He Is Eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeevil.

I will not write long, stupid posts on how the man I voted for, and his party, are wonderful people--intelligent, sensitive, and well-informed--while the other party, and its voters, are a bunch of moronic thugs who want only to Destroy a Once Great Nation. Nor will I deliver such rants in person.

I will not write anything containing the sentence 'The administration has hit a new low . . .'"

Can't we all just get along?

2004-11-10T10:58:00.000-08:00

As I've been trying to get over my disappointment with the election, I found some wise pre-election words from InstaPundit, which are more applicable now than ever. Just remember kids: Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

"ELECTION DAY REMINDERS: Let’s get a couple of things out of the way before today’s votes are counted.

You have the right to vote. You do not have the right to see the man of your choice in the White House.

If George W. Bush wins the election, the world will still spin on its axis. Canada will not grant you asylum. If John Kerry wins the election, America will still be America. Australia will not grant you asylum.

People who vote for the other guy aren’t stupid, brainwashed, or evil. They are your friends and family. Someone you love will almost certainly cancel your vote. (My wife cancels out mine.)

If, by some chance, everyone you know votes for the loser it won’t mean the election was stolen. It will only show that you live in a bubble.

If this thing is close (the victor could easily win by 0.1 percent) try not to read too much into it. We’ll still be closely divided.

If the election doesn’t go your way, don’t pop off as though America were Guatemala under the generals. You’ll get lots of attention, but it won’t be the kind you want. People will laugh, not near you but at you."

Newsday.com: Man commits suicide at Ground Zero

2004-11-07T02:33:00.000-08:00

Newsday.com: Man commits suicide at Ground Zero: "Man commits suicide at Ground Zero

BY ROCCO PARASCANDOLA, DEBORAH MORRIS AND SEAN GARDINER
Staff Writers

November 6, 2004, 7:11 PM EST

Distraught over the re-election of President George W. Bush, a Georgia man traveled to New York City, went to Ground Zero and killed himself with a shotgun blast, police said yesterday."

This is an absolute tragedy, and my thoughts and prayers go out to the man's family and friends. Everyone out there who's feeling distraught about the election needs to take a step back and think about what really matters. Get some perspective. Now is not the time for depression, now is the time to step up to the plate and take the challenge to make real change in our nation. You can do it. Now is the time for positivity, so embrace that and don't look back.

De Bush!

2004-11-06T03:03:00.000-08:00

From TVgasm: "As I walk to work, a woman (Haitian?) runs up to me in frenzied worry on the street, holding a copy of the New York Post over her head and shouting, 'De rednecks down south, dey vote for de Bush!!'"

What else is there to say?

The Beginning

2004-11-04T17:51:00.000-08:00

bush-small
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Well, the election's over. It's done. Finito. It didn't totally turn out the way I wanted, but I'm proud of the impact I made. I volunteered for the Kerry/Edwards campaign and the Washington State Democrats to go on several neighborhood canvasses and volunteered from 7 AM to 7 PM on election day to get out the vote. However, just because the election's over, it's not time to just throw in the towel. I encourage everyone to go out there and do what they can to make a difference. Even just an hour a week can make a tremendous difference. Write a letter to the editor of a local paper. Let people know what you think of what's going on in our nation. Volunteer for a local politician. Get a job in politics. There's plenty to be done, and I can't wait to get started!

That picture, by the way, is President Bush (OK, I know you knew that part) made up of the faces of dead soldiers. I hope that we never forget the sacrifices our brave young men and young women have made for our nation. God bless them, and God bless America!

Halloween Horror

2004-10-30T02:40:00.000-07:00

todayshow
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Al Roker as Oprah: Funny. Matt Lauer as Paris Hilton: Frightening and vomit-inducing.

The Seattle Times: Politics: Get voters to the polls, Dean urges

2004-10-17T03:18:00.000-07:00

Check out the Seattle Times' coverage of the Howard Dean speech I went to. No discussion of the Howard Dean scream, but good stuff nonetheless.

The Seattle Times: Politics: Get voters to the polls, Dean urges

Howard Dean Speech (Part Two)

2004-10-16T15:14:00.000-07:00

Howard Dean Speech (Part One)

2004-10-16T15:07:00.000-07:00

The audio's a little fuzzy, but this is from a Howard Dean speech I attended today. Sadly, as I'm still getting used to the whole audio blogging thing, I missed Governor Dean re-enacting the HOWARD DEAN SCREAM~! Preceded, of course, by naming off states. Love that! Still, some interesting points if you're interested...

Preach On, Brother John!

2004-10-13T18:33:00.000-07:00

Holy crap! During the debate tonight, John Kerry quoted the Bible before George W. Bush did. What is this, Bizarro World?! Even though I'm a Protestant like Dubya as opposed to a Catholic like Kerry, I nonetheless support him expressing his faith and making the point that he's not going to legislate his beliefs.

Wal-Mart: Not Evil?

2004-10-13T01:37:00.000-07:00

I know, I know, it's a shocking thing to say, but Wal-Mart might not be totally evil! They're pressuring the record labels to drop prices so they can sell all CD's under ten bucks without going into hock doing it. Love that! For once, I'm rooting for Wal-Mart to win this one, so I don't have to see how much a CD costs, download it instead, and feel guilty.

RollingStone.com: News
- The Killers
- Wal-Mart Wants $10 CDs

Google Print

2004-10-12T18:04:00.000-07:00

Google is taking a cue from Amazon and having book results come up in searches. Sweetness! Just search for "books on blah blah blah" and you're golden! I already looked up books about wrestling. True, it's very limited, but it's a nice step to help meld books and the Internet in a new way. Here's a couple examples of what a search looks like:

http://print.google.com/googleprint/example2_lg.gif

http://print.google.com/googleprint/example_lg.gif

Google Print

Carolyn Kepcher: Evil Hotness

2004-10-08T01:45:00.000-07:00

Carolyn
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Carolyn is one of Donald Trump's two semi-evil henchmen on the Apprentice. OK, she's only in her 30's, and she's not only attractive, she's obviously a genius, as well as being filthy rich. Where do I propose? Of course, you can sense the sexual tension between her and George, but she seems open to someone new. Carolyn can be my co-pilot any day.

Kleintastic! Jessi Klein + Politics = My Dreams Come True!

2004-10-06T23:23:00.000-07:00

Jessi_Klein-PHOTO
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Jessi Klein, who was already my hot, liberal, atheist dream girl (as in, if I were an atheist, I'd be all about that), just moved up a notch on my list by getting all political and doing blogs for CNN.com on the presidential debates! These are must reads in my book. Absolutely priceless. She's so snarky, I love it! These things are even better than her official website, Kleintastic, which is also a must read. Pure gold, I swear. And, before you start saying this is yet another example of the liberal media, Robert Novak is also blogging for CNN. So, there. Check out the link to her VP debate blog below.

CNN.com - Jessi Klein: Blogging along with Cheney and Edwards - Oct 5, 2004

Big Brother's Fitness Twins

2004-09-23T00:54:00.000-07:00

logo_banner10
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Oh gosh, I just found the official site of the twins from Big Brother 5, and that is freakin' hilarious. Also, since they apparently set up the site in August, how is that possible, since they were supposedly "sequestered?" I sense shenanigans. Shenanigans, I say! These two are the cheesiest girls on the planet. I couldn't believe, after the little opening movie on their front page plays, it says "Fitness is fun!" Way too much cheeriness in these two. Still, they produced some of my favorite reality TV moments, such as when their faith told them to put up the black guy and the gay guy for eviction. Yeah, real Christian, ladies. Thanks for giving us all a bad name.

Even God knows Bush is bad and Cheney's evil

2004-09-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

GODvsBUSH
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Oh it's true! See, this picture conclusively proves it. OK, maybe not, but still. I actually think God's nonpartisan. There's no way he would have let all the evangelical Christians be Republicans if he got involved in politics directly.

UPDATE!: I originally titled this "Even God knows Bush is bad and Kerry's evil." Cheney's mind control must be working! I hear he's already working on an evil weather machine to get revenge after this destruction of Florida by God.

2004-09-13T20:23:00.000-07:00

"He's a flip-flopper! Flippity flop flop flip!"

2004-09-10T01:49:00.000-07:00

Hey everybody, be sure to stay tuned, as I have some audio updates planned that will hopefully go up this weekend, covering my rock and roll weekend over Labor Day weekend at Seattle's Bumbershoot. Anyways, to hold you over, here is a laugh out loud bit, courtesy of ABC News' The Note. It's the way that Democrats want you to look at Bush, and the way that Republicans want you to look at Kerry. Enjoy!

ABCNEWS.com : ABC News' The Note: First Source for Political News: "Thus, George Bush as brought to you by the Democrats and the GOP version of John Kerry :

BUSH TIMELINE

Born (with a silver spoon in his mouth) to patrician New England family in New Haven on July 6, 1946.

Prep school cheerleader.

Young and irresponsible %u2014 and vaguely so.

'I was not prepared to shoot my eardrum out with a shotgun in order to get a deferment. Nor was I willing to go to Canada. So I chose to better myself by learning how to fly airplanes.'

AWOL, physical-dodging, hard-partying bogus flyboy.

Failed businessman with continuing young and irresponsible behavior (a.k.a.: the Kitty Kelley years).

Powerless, faux-bipartisan governor of Texas.

Over-promising, vague, McCain-savaging presidential candidate.

Supreme-Court-manipulating, illegitimate president-elect.

Right-wing, war-mongering, environment-destroying, special-interest-controlled, daddy-revenge-seeking, stem-cell-research-crushing, vacation-taking, tax-cutting, neo-con puppet POTUS.

KERRY TIMELINE

Privileged, French boy with ambiguous cultural heritage.

Preternaturally ambitious prepster.

Medal-seeking, exploit-filming, fabricating, wimpy-yet-overly-aggressive Swift Boat exploiter.

Medal-throwing, Fonda-consorting, Genghis-Khan-citing anti-war radical.

Money-marrying, rich-man's-sports-loving pretty boy.

District-shopping, Dukakis-hugging, hyper-ambitious pol.

Uber-liberal, do-nothing, anti-military, tax-raising senator.

Howard-Dean-aping, flip-flopping, Iraq-war-bobbing, Gore-like presidential candidate."

Rescue Me

2004-09-02T23:49:00.000-07:00

This show is just genius. I've missed out on a few of these cable TV phenomenas, but I am in the ground floor with this one, baby. They're actually branding this one a TV MA, so they can get away with violence, adult situations, adult language, etc. Plus, it's got Denis Leary. Now that's good TV. Be sure to check it out, every Wednesday night at 10 PM on FX.

Wait, am I a Republican? According to Arnold...

2004-09-01T00:58:00.000-07:00

Here's what Arnold had to say on the matter:

"My fellow immigrants, my fellow Americans, how do you know if you are a Republican? I'll tell you how.

If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government...then you are a Republican! If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group... then you are a Republican! If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does... then you are a Republican! If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ... then you are a Republican! If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world ... then you are a Republican! And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ... then you are a Republican!

There is another way you can tell you're a Republican. You have faith in free enterprise, faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ... and faith in the U.S. economy."

OK, let's go point by point:

"If you believe that government should be accountable to the people, not the people to the government..."

Yup.

"If you believe a person should be treated as an individual, not as a member of an interest group..."

Hey, I agree with that one too!

"If you believe your family knows how to spend your money better than the government does..."

My family? Maybe, though probably not. Most families? No way.

"If you believe our educational system should be held accountable for the progress of our children ..."

Sure! Not the way this standardized testing and teaching to the test do it, but sure, schools should be accountable.

"If you believe this country, not the United Nations, is the best hope of democracy in the world..."

Mmm, I think they're both good. Split decision.

"And, ladies and gentlemen ...if you believe we must be fierce and relentless and terminate terrorism ..."

Completely agreed. We do need to "terminate" terrorism. Gosh, can he go five minutes without referencing one of his films?

"You have faith in free enterprise..."

Nope, I don't. I think that a completely free market just helps the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. There have to be some restrictions.

"...faith in the resourcefulness of the American people ..."

Yup, I've got tons of faith in the American people and their resourcefulness.

"...and faith in the U.S. economy."

Mmm, well, I think it will come back eventually, but this "recovery" isn't really much of one. So, split decision.

So, final tally:

Agreed: Five points.

Disagreed: Two points.

Split: Two points.

But I'm still not a Republican.

The Governator at the RNC

2004-09-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

How appropriate that the man who declared "I'll be bahhhhck" inspired me to return to my blog! Sorry, things have been pretty crazy. Still, I had to give mad props to my man Ah-nold for an electrifying speech as a part of the Republican National Convention. If I was a Republican, I would have been putty in his big, manly hands. If you get the chance, I highly recommend checking out his speech online. That had to be the highlight of night two of the RNC. Well, that and the Bush daughters. But not because of anything they said.

Britney Spears: Huge Whore

2004-08-23T00:07:00.000-07:00

bigkiss-thumb
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

OK, it's official: Britney Spears is a bigger whore than Christina Aguilera. Christina recently removed most of her body piercing. Also recently, Britney Spears, in an interview with Popword presenter Simon Amstell, when asked what the last thing she had in her mouth was, she replied "a dildo." Great role model for the kids, huh?

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog

Thanks, New York Times!

2004-08-22T23:50:00.000-07:00

Alright, if you want to understand how the Bush administration is connected to these Swift Boat Veterans for "Truth," The New York Times has wrapped it all up in a nice pretty graphical picture for you!

http://graphics7.nytimes.com/images/2004/08/19/politics/campaign/20040820swift_graph.gif

Toogle Image Search

2004-08-22T23:41:00.000-07:00

All I have to say is, this site is freakin' rad. Go put in something. An actor's name. A type of car. Then marvel at the results.

Toogle Image Search

Olympic Fever

2004-08-20T19:19:00.000-07:00

olympics
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Do you have Olympic fever? No? Me neither. Seriously, I have no idea how this stuff ends up the tops in the ratings. No one cares about these sports for four years, and suddenly they're the cat's pajamas? I tried watching this stuff the first full day, I really did. But come on, synchronized diving? That's a sport? Really? I don't think so.

Oh well, at least there's amateur wrestling and judo. Good stuff. Now someone just put our terrible team sport participants out of their misery.

Badger nonsense

2004-08-16T01:00:00.000-07:00

Someone tried explaining this cartoon to me a while back. I blinked a few times, and thought "OK, even though it sounds like the stupidest thing I've ever heard of, maybe it's funny if you actually see it." Then I saw it. I then realized that my first instinct was right. This isn't funny. At all. Someone brought it up again tonight. Judge for yourselves whether I'm completely insane, or everyone else is.

http://www.weebls-stuff.com/toons/21/

The Olympics!

2004-08-14T02:08:00.000-07:00

NBC is providing over 1,100 hours of coverage of the Olympics this year. So, if you love America, cancel your plans, quit your job, and find your couch's sweet spot, because you have some watchin' in store! Or, if you're sane, watch the highlights one of the zillions of times they are played. Bonus points for noticing signs of Bob Costas going slowly insane as he tries to fill all of that time for two freakin' weeks.

Back like a mack!

2004-08-13T00:08:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gents, your Tap Out hosts are back from a well needed rest to deliver more of the insanity you've come to know and love! Where oh where could I be, you ask? I've got one word for you: DISNEYLAND~! A couple of pictures of Disney goodness for your perusal (I'm the one in the red Flash t-shirt!):

Splash Mountain:

More on the Disney trip, pop culture goodness, and this weekend's WWE SummerSlam pay-per-view coming soon!

President Bush's blog!

2004-08-05T02:00:00.000-07:00

The Onion is the world's leading source of fake news. And they bat about .900. Fairly consistently funny. They've really topped themselves this time, capturing the Internet's imagination with a spoof about President Bush having a blog. Someone took the article so seriously that they started up their own version of the blog discussed in the spoof article at the address mentioned, prezgeorgew.typepad.com. Pure genius. Enjoy!

The Onion | CIA Asks Bush To Discontinue Blog

What? What are you looking at?

2004-08-05T01:31:00.000-07:00

Bjork has a new album coming out, with no instruments. And she's using her boobs to hypnotize you into buying it. That's the album cover, I swear to God. She's also apparently doing something crazy with her hair. It's like a hair mask. She's Hair Batman! Hairman? Hairwoman? Anyways, Bjork always finds away to give "quirky" a whole new meaning, and this album sounds like the latest step in that process.

Kerry and Bush give speeches, crooks rob banks

2004-08-05T00:50:00.000-07:00

John Kerry and George W. Bush were in the same small town giving speeches as part of their campaigns. The cops were so busy protecting the candidates, three banks were robbed. Three of 'em. Nice job on "homeland security," guys.

Drew Curtis' FARK.com

It's ba-aaaack...

2004-08-05T00:43:00.000-07:00

Critics hated it. Fans loved it. Family Guy is coming back, with new episodes airing on August 18th and 25th. This is one of my favorite guilty pleasures, and I can't wait. If you don't laugh at Family Guy, you're a snob. Oh it's true!

Drew Curtis' FARK.com: "Fox to air new episodes of Family Guy on August 18 and August 25"

Hey, Remember The '90s?

2004-08-04T02:58:00.000-07:00

thumb
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Bill Clinton was on Letterman Tuesday night. As usual, he was pure gold. Funny. Smart. Sexy. Wait, did I just say that out loud? Umm.... hey, look over there! Whew, that was close. Anyways, great interview. I met him a few weeks ago at a book signing, talked with him briefly and shook his hand, which was great. I still haven't made much of a dent into his insanely sized book, but I will, I swear!

Martha Prison News!

2004-08-04T02:49:00.000-07:00

I am still giddy with excitement over Martha Stewart being sent to prison. Here's the latest, from the National Enquirer, via Gawker. Enjoy!

Gawker: "[Martha Stewart] has been advised by friends to hire a hulking gay girl, the toughest in the prison population as her 'protector.'"

Outfoxed heading to the silver screen

2004-08-04T02:37:00.000-07:00

The BBC is reporting that Outfoxed, a documentary on the mistruths spread by Fox News that initially went straight to DVD, is going to get a limited theatrical release! Sweet! I was supposed to go to a screening of this, but I spaced out worse than Bush before 9/11 and missed it. You can pick up the DVD over on Amazon, or look for the flick in a theater near you!

Inside the Actor's Studio with Mike Roe!

2004-08-04T01:38:00.000-07:00

OK, you can all play at home! Go post your responses in the comments section, on your own blog, wherever. In any case, here is my attempt to answer James Lipton's (in)famous questions that he asks everybody to finish up his interviews on Inside the Actor's Studio:

What is your favorite word?
Rock!

What is your least favorite word?
Titty

What turns you on, creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Creatively: Being funny; Spiritually: My pastor's amazing sermons and Christian band Team Strike Force; Emotionally: Someone showing they care.

What turns you off?
Lack of intelligence.

What profession other than yours would you like to attempt?
Politics, journalism, wrestling announcing/managing/other work in the wrestling industry, movie industry, television industry, or music industry.

What profession would you not like to participate in?
Professional wrestler (I want to have a healthy body!)

What is your favorite curse word?
Bitches!

If Heaven exists what would you like to hear god say when you reach the pearly gates?
Thank you for serving me faithfully and making the world a better place.

Is Mike Roe gonna have to choke a bitch?

2004-08-04T00:46:00.000-07:00

Dave Chappelle just renewed for 50 million dollars. That's for just two seasons. Two seasons. How is that possible? I think that I'm going to cry. Of course, Comedy Central might end up crying, as other Comedy Central hosts may end up making similar demands. Colin Quinn made threats to that effect on Tough Crowd tonight, and Jon Stewart could definitely hold the network over a barrel next time his contract comes up. I swear, I hate Hollywood. But I love it too. Thus my conflict.

chappelle
Originally uploaded by MikeRoe.

Mary-Kate: It's drugs!

2004-08-04T00:42:00.000-07:00

Defamer reports that Star magazine and the Enquirer are knuckling under to lawyers and publicist making threats, and are moving Mary-Kate's coke use to the down low. I cry foul! Mary-Kate's coke use must continue to be documented! I want more pictures of her with headlines like "Anorexia? Yeah, right! She's a coke whore!"

First Roy, now girls!

2004-08-04T00:39:00.000-07:00

A girl testified today that Disney's Tigger molested her! I mean, the rabbit I'd understand, because he always looked like he was up to something. Even Piglet, with those shifty eyes. But Tigger? Shocking!

Political quiz: Iz yoo smahrt?

2004-08-03T23:32:00.000-07:00

Those wiseguys at the Columbia Journalism Review think you're stupid. They think you can't answer these questions. Hey, they think that I can't answer these questions! Oh yeah? Well it's on baby, it's on!

CJR Campaign Desk Home: "1) In what magazine were the Bush twins recently featured wearing formal gowns?

Vanity Fair, bitches!

2) John Kerry wants to increase the minimum wage to what level?

Uhhhh... Ummmm... 8.20? I just made that up.

3) Who is Washingtonienne, and what is her real name?

She was involved in a sex scandal, which she detailed in lurid detail via her blog. And her name... Uh... Er... Mm... Jessica. Jessica... Keats.

4) By how much do Kerry and Edwards say they will reduce the federal budget deficit?

I'll go with, to zero. They'll get rid of it.

5) What did Wolf Blitzer need to apologize for shortly after John Kerry's acceptance speech and subsequent celebration at the Democratic convention?

Wolfy had to apologize for the convention's producer's audio accidentally going over the air, yelling about the fact that balloons weren't falling and uttering the F word in his no-balloon rant.

6) President Bush's 'No Child Left Behind' initiative calls for the testing of every child in which grades?

K through 12.

7) Which daughter-of-a-candidate showed up at the Cannes film festival in a see-through black dress?

Alexandra Kerry! I know that one! That dirty, dirty girl.

8) How do Bush and Kerry differ on how to implement the Sept. 11 Commission's recommendation for the creation of a national intelligence director?

Kerry thinks that it should be a cabinet level position, while President Bush says it should be outside the White House.

9) Which Hollywood celebrity and Beantown native was considered 'ubiquitous' last week in Boston?

Ben Affleck. That guy loves those TV cameras. Or movie cameras. Or digital cameras. Or, really, anything that will look at him.

10) How many jobs have been gained or lost during Bush's time in office?

The cumulative total says that Bush has lost us one million jobs.

OK, let's see what the real answers are:

1) It was Vogue! Darn it.

2) Kerry wants it upped to 7 bucks an hour, from 5.15. I guess I'm spoiled by living in Washington state, where we already have a minimum wage that I think is over seven bucks.

3) Washingtonienne is Jessica Cutler. I was right about the blog thing, and her first name. I guess I shouldn't have just inserted a random poet for the last time.

4) Kerry and Edwards say they will reduce the federal budget by half. Well, I was only, er, half off.

5) I was RIGHT about Blitzer's apology! Yay!

6) No Child Left Behind only tests grades three through eight. D'oh!

7) Right again about Alexandra Kerry! Love that!

8) Right again about the new national intelligence directo!

9) Affleck makes three in a row!

10) OK, one point one million jobs have been lost. Close enough. I'm counting that one, darn it. 1.8 million private sector jobs were lost, with 700,000 public sector jobs added.

So, I ended up with four questions correct. They say you're a moron if you got three or less right. They also say that you should be more concerned with knowing the even questions, because they're on the issues that "matter." The other ones are a bit more trivial, so they recommend you finding a new way to get your news if you know just those ones. Hey, screw you, I'll get my news the way I want to get it! *wins*

God bless Wonkette

2004-08-02T22:29:00.000-07:00

Wonkette is MTV's latest reporter, covering the election stuff this year. You can check out her fantastic blog on Washington, DC gossip, or keep an eye out for her on MTV. Oh yeah, and she's cute. Too bad most of her blog is about anal sex. OK, just kidding, kind of, but she does mention it an awful lot... And her gay assistant (no, really, he's gay!) isn't nearly as entertaining, so avoid posts marked "BOIFROMTROY." I mean come on, anyone who spells boy like that is probably pretty dumb in the first place. Just look at Avril Lavigne.

stereogum: rock & roll watercooler: "...she is wearing... Converse sneakers.

'If terrorists attack, I'll be able to run out of the building,' Cox says. 'Surviving a terrorist attack is the new black.'"

MTV Video of the Year

2004-08-02T22:12:00.000-07:00

Here are the nominees for MTV video of the year:

* D-12 'My Band'
* Jay-Z '99 Problems'
* Outkast 'Hey Ya'
* Britney Spears 'Toxic'
* Usher f/ Lil' Jon & Ludicris 'Yeah"

D-12 is funny, Usher can dance, and Britney's constant grabbing of her own boobs is good television, but I think this really comes down to Jay-Z and Outkast. I'm slightly in favor of Outkast, because it's an incredible video visually, it's fun, and it's a great song, while "99 Problems" is a bit overly dramatic, but they're both solid. I'm sure you'll be hearing more from me on this as the awards approach later this month. Mostly me mercilessly mocking them, but hey, that's what blogs are for, right?

Tom and Jamie, sitting in a tree...

2004-08-02T21:39:00.000-07:00

That's the cover of the latest Entertainment Weekly. Is there a way for Tom Cruise and Jamie Foxx to possibly look any gayer? I feel like I just got done looking at an Abercrombie ad.

Jessi Klein: Hot, smart, and funny? Love that!

2004-08-02T21:36:00.000-07:00

I simply don't have enough good things to say about Jessi Klein. She's been named one of Time Out New York's "Top 10 Comics We Never Get Tired Of," she's won the Emerging Comics of NY award for Best Female Stand-Up, she's appeared on Premium Blend, she's a Comedy Central network executive, she was named Rolling Stone's Hot List's Hot Funny Girl, she's appeared on Tody, CNN, and CNBC, she's working on a one-woman show, and she's on the best TV show ever, Best Week Ever! She's a genius, graduating from Vassar College. Heck, she went to college, unlike most lame celebrities. Oh, and did I mention that she's incredibly hot? Jessi Klein quote of the day: "Every time I hear [Secretary of Defense Donald] Rumsfeld's voice, I get very horny and lonely–nothing has driven my sex drive more than he and [Attorney General John] Ashcroft." Insane and intelligent = My latest celebrity crush!

Democrats say yay for God!

2004-08-02T00:30:00.000-07:00

I've spotted a new trend. It seems that many Democratic leaders have kept their religious faith a bit quieter than their conservative rivals. However, from John Kerry to Barack Obama, faith has become a big issue in this year's election. Will this trend continue? Does it have an impact on the future of the party? Does God think a name like "Obama" sounds kind of weird? In any case, some Kerry quotes illustrating my point:

Yahoo! News - Kerry Talks Openly About Faith and Guns
: "We're running to be lay leaders, but there isn't any way that you're not affected by your fundamental values, the faith that brings you to the table," Kerry said Sunday to worshippers at Greater Grace Temple in the heart of the presidential campaign battleground in Ohio.

...

"I don't wear my own faith on my sleeve, but faith has given me values and hope to live by, from Vietnam to this day, from Sunday to Sunday," Kerry said as he accepted the Democratic presidential nomination Thursday.

...

Kerry's talk of God also could help him shore up part of his base, especially as he spends his Sundays worshipping at largely black churches. Sunday, Kerry told the mostly black congregation at the non-denominational Greater Grace Temple that he and Edwards, who lost his son in a car accident, survived personal tragedy through faith in God.

"I was at war, lost some of my best friends, those I grew up with and those I fought with," Kerry said. "And I sort of questioned, why does this happen, why did this happen, what's going on? We all question. And we learn that even though suffering, through loss, we get in touch with power, with the being, with the almighty."

Even among the scientists and technicians at Florida's Kennedy Space Center, Kerry paid tribute Monday to "the higher power."

"More physicists and more and more scientists, the more they learn in some ways the less they know about some things and the more they believe in that power," Kerry said.

Kerry tries to distinguish himself from President Bush on religion. On CBS' "Face the Nation" program broadcast Sunday, Kerry said Bush occasionally has crossed a line between church and state, although he said he doesn't know if it's intentional or inadvertent.

"I'm Christian, I'm Catholic, it's important to me," Kerry said. "It has served me through my whole life. But as I said in my (convention) speech, I'm not going to say God is on my side and I'm not going to go out and divide people. I want to pray that we are on God's side."

Ilana Wexler

2004-08-01T21:57:00.000-07:00

Ilana Wexler is my hero. This kid spoke at the Democratic National Convention and leads the Kids For Kerry organization, and she's only twelve years old. Her coworkers reportedly call her "48," because they figure, based on her age, she'll be the 48th president.

Organization isn't a bad thing

2004-08-01T21:48:00.000-07:00

LiberalOasis (Quoting Howard Dean): "[Democrats always make] the following joke... 'I belong to no organized party, I'm a Democrat.'

And everybody always laughs.

And if we keep laughing at that, we're going to laugh ourselves right out of existence.

The way the Republicans beat us, is years ago they started to make sure that somebody ran for the school board, and somebody ran for county commissioner, and somebody ran for every single office that you can think of...

...And we didn't do that."

Coming soon: Mike Roe for Dog Catcher!

Ryan Seacrest, don't leave me!

2004-08-01T00:07:00.000-07:00

Sad, but true: Ryan Seacrest's "On Air with Ryan Seacrest" was canceled earlier this week. I know you're crushed. So was I. Take comfort, though: only five more months until American Idol 4! I know, "only" isn't a word to be used when talking about time away from your loved ones, especially when that loved one is Ryan Seacrest, but have faith, little ones. Have faith.

On Air With Ryan Seacrest: 2004-2004.

John Kerry promises, promises, promises!

2004-07-31T02:51:00.000-07:00

Al Jazeera is reporting all of the neat things John Kerry promised to do for the country! Can he do all of them? Hopefully we'll get to find out. But really, if you look at this list, it's physically impossible. Unless John Kerry's really Superman. And that would be pretty cool.

A Small Victory - promises to keep: " -Invest in new technology and alternative fuels to lessen US dependence on foreign oil.
- Make America 'finally and forever' independent of Middle East oil.
- Cut the US deficit in half over four years by ending corporate tax cuts, which he called 'corporate welfare.'
- Offer targeted tax breaks for the middle class.
- Roll back tax cuts granted by the Bush administration to people earning over $200,000 a year.
- Close tax loopholes to companies moving jobs abroad and give breaks to firms keeping good-paying jobs at home.
- Pledged not to privatise Social Security or to cut benefits.
- Incentives to revitalise manufacturing and investment in technology and innovation.
- Pledged that as commander-in-chief he would never lead the United States into a preemptive war, only sending troops to battle 'a threat that was real and imminent.'
- Immediately reform intelligence gathering.
- Rebuild alliances with other nations.
- Ensure the United States would lead the global effort against nuclear proliferation.
- Add 40,000 active duty troops.
- Double the number of US special forces.
- End the military's heavy reliance on National Guard and
military reservists.
- Immediately implement the recommendations of the September 11 commission.
- Offer incentives that would save families $1,000 a year on health insurance costs.
- Allow Americans to buy prescription drugs from countries like Canada, where they are often less expensive."

Christian Slater: The masks we wear

2004-07-31T02:33:00.000-07:00

Apparently, Christian Slater was at a strip club and was asked to leave. Why was he asked to leave, you ask?

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "Yes, Christian was asked to leave the club because he wouldn't take off his Nixon mask.''"

Because he wouldn't take off his Nixon mask. His Nixon mask. That just boggles my mind. Now, I have had the urge to wear masks in the past. On Halloween. Or perhaps at a professional wrestling show. I have not had the impulse to wear a mask and proceed to wear it to a strip club, making a solemn vow to not remove it. Have you? No? Didn't think so.

Balloons blow, at least sometimes

2004-07-31T02:27:00.000-07:00

After John Kerry's speech, balloons were supposed to fall from the rafters. There were few balloons to be seen, especially at first. Also, somehow the show's producer's audio got patched into the CNN audio feed, and, well, you can read some of the results below. I was disappointed tonight to not see the usually spot on Daily Show not taking a shot at this event.

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "Go balloons. Balloons. What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons. Where the hell? There's nothing falling. What the fuck are you guys doing up there?"

I Wanna Be An Expert, Too!

2004-07-30T23:01:00.000-07:00

On the front page of AOL tonight, I saw the sub-headline "Experts say sex... increases bliss." Yeah, no crap, Sherlock. Did these "experts" actually get paid to discover this? What's next, "experts say black people were slaves?" Ridiculous.

And the survey says...

2004-07-30T19:48:00.000-07:00

The latest Zogby poll has Kerry up by five points overall, with a nine point lead among women, a 22 percent lead in the east, and a seven point lead in the west. They only have a one point lead with men, a two point lead in the south, and are down five points in the midwest. Still, these are promising results, and as the convention gets more press, Kerry should get more of a bump. It will be interesting to see if Kerry can maintain his lead through the Republican National Convention. But c'mon, do you really think Bush talking is going to give him much of a bump beyond his base? I don't think so.

PollingReport.com - Public Opinion Online

Michael Moore vs. Florida: The Revenge

2004-07-29T18:20:00.000-07:00

Your hero and mine, Michael Moore, has announced that he will have his cameras on hand to film the Florida elections this November, as well as a cadre of lawyers on call to fight any shady dealings. Will an ice cream truck be involved this time? We, and Moore, can only hope so.

Democracy Now! | Michael Moore: I Will Bring Cameras to Florida to Monitor November Election

Sharpton-riffic!

2004-07-29T18:14:00.000-07:00

The highlight of the Democratic National Convention on Wednesday had to have been Al Sharpton. John Edwards was fine, but those of us that actually follow this kind of thing have heard that speech about 370,934 times by now. Give or take. Thankfully, that craaaazay Al Sharpton wasn't afraid to take his six minute scripted speech and turn it into an unscripted twenty.

Wonkette: "We got the civil rights act under Democrats. We got the voting rights act under Democrats. We got the right to organize under Democrats. Mr. President, in all due respect, Mr. President, read my lips, our vote is not for sale."

Kerry sisters lovin'

2004-07-29T18:06:00.000-07:00

Wonkette is reporting that Ben Affleck is getting his Kerry on, baby! And not just John! Nope, he's been sited getting a little freakay -- OK, just kissing, but still -- Vanessa Kerry. Meanwhile, her tag team partner, aka sister, Alexandra has been spotted with "sensitive guy" John Cusack. You go Kerry sisters! Now, just be careful not to get all Christina on us, and it'll be all good!

Pay $26 for string!

2004-07-29T17:43:00.000-07:00

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "'Target (pronounced Tar-JAY)... is now selling red Kabbalah strings like the ones Madonna, Demi Moore and Britney Spears wear for $25.99. Listed as a 'hot buy' on Target's Web site, the string is 'believed to protect against the evil eye.' Each is guaranteed to have 'traveled to Israel, to the ancient tomb of Rachel the Matriarch, and returned imbued with the essence of protection.''"

Twenty-six bucks, folks. Uh, what? It's a piece of red string. That's got to be what, a nickel? A dime? Of course, this whole Hollywood obsession with the Kabbalah is nonsense as well. Insanity.

Anna York

2004-07-29T00:22:00.000-07:00

OK, forget about that youngest of the convention delegates, Sarah Bender. For those of you worried about lusting over a seventeen year old, the crack Tap Out research staff has turned up the lovely miss Anna York. She's eighteen! She's also a former cheerleader, a recent high school graduate, and competed in the Miss Teen Tennessee beauty pageant. Enjoy!

Tough Crowd

2004-07-29T00:21:00.000-07:00

This show just celebrated its 200th episode. For those who haven't caught it yet, it's definitely worth a look. It might not be quite the same level of humor as its lead in, the Daily Show, but it delivers a solid finish to the one two Comedy Central punch. It's on Monday through Thursday at 11:30. It gets the Mike Roe seal of approval!

Daughter Showdown

2004-07-28T21:43:00.000-07:00

Kerry daughters? Meh. Bush daughters? Forget it! Yes, after much deliberation and study, the hottest daughter of a candidate has been found, and it's Cate Edwards! She's beautiful and she scored a freakin' 800 on her math SAT, twice! God bless America!

Hot pink!
Winter gear!

A Genius's View

2004-07-28T18:20:00.000-07:00

Former pro wrestler and certifiable genius (He's a Harvard graduate!) Chris Nowinski is writing a fascinating series of columns from the Democratic National Convention. Here's a couple excerpts from his last couple updates:

"The television coverage of the convention doesn’t appeal to young people because it has fundamental flaws that can best be understood through comparisons to the sports-entertainment business. The convention on television is an entertainment product – only it’s not entertaining. Every WWE fan can recognize the convention planners stole a good deal from wrestling, but I don’t think they understand why people watch the WWE. They borrowed our Titantron, but they don’t put any brilliantly packaged videos on it to engage us. They borrowed our stage and ramp (changed to stairs), but nobody walks down it for dramatic effect. And what’s with the “elevator” entrance music? They have announcers, but the announcers don’t add any life to the show (where is JR when you need him?). The only thing missing is the ring, but they don’t need that because there is nothing to fight over.

The outcomes in wrestling are predetermined, but we don’t tell our fans who will win before the show. That would take all the fun out of the wrestlers “telling a story” and engaging the imaginations of the audience through their performances.

This convention is so ridiculously scripted, packaged, manipulated, censored, and sanitized that there is no real reason for us to care. The founding fathers must be turning in their graves."

For more of Chris's fascinating take on the convention, check out http://vote.wwe.com/news/Notesfromtheconvention.html.

Hot people like politics too!

2004-07-28T17:33:00.000-07:00

Yes friends, this seventeen year old is the youngest delegate to the convention. She turns eighteen this October. Where's one of those Olsen Twins-esque countdown clocks when you need one? Plus, you know that, being involved with politics at such a young age, she's not only intelligent, but certifiably insane! Anyone know her religious affiliation? If she's a Christian, can someone get me her number? No? Darn.

Barack Obama

2004-07-28T01:12:00.000-07:00

This guy is a superstar. For those saying "Who the freak is Barack Obama?", this guy was Tuesday night's keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention. He not only rallied the crowd into a frothing frenzy, he did more than just stoke the Democratic base. He spoke across boundaries, even including the line "We worship an awesome God in the blue states." Not your typical Democratic talk, and this man is truly an inspiration. He has a bright future with the Democratic party, and I wish him luck as a senator.

WWE Raw: July 26th, 2004: The Power Of Two

2004-07-28T00:55:00.000-07:00

This Monday, I had the pleasure of getting home late and completely missing the whole Raw Divas Search. Sadly, I missed the battle royal as well, but I guess I'll just have to get my A-Train fix somewhere else. Still, there's nothing like getting to watch wrestling television without filler, but merely two men putting out their all. No, it wasn't a five star match, nor should it have been. It accomplished the tasks presented to it very well, setting up Triple H/Eugene and helping Benoit but Triple H behind him as he ramped up for his SummerSlam match against Randy Orton. It also had some smaller subplots, including the Randy Orton/Triple H match which will likely take place at next year's WrestleMania, which was executed beautifully, with Orton nowhere to be seen while the rest of Evolution was at ringside. My only regret: I missed Kamala.

What's in a Name?

2004-07-27T18:50:00.000-07:00

So, after going through possible titles for this blog, I decided on Tap Out. Still, I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong, so feel free to include your suggestions by clicking that little comment button. Also, some other ideas I've been tossing around:

* Larger Than Life
* Mikeitude
* Absolutely Positive