Saturday, July 31, 2004

John Kerry promises, promises, promises!

Al Jazeera is reporting all of the neat things John Kerry promised to do for the country! Can he do all of them? Hopefully we'll get to find out. But really, if you look at this list, it's physically impossible. Unless John Kerry's really Superman. And that would be pretty cool.

A Small Victory - promises to keep: " -Invest in new technology and alternative fuels to lessen US dependence on foreign oil.
- Make America 'finally and forever' independent of Middle East oil.
- Cut the US deficit in half over four years by ending corporate tax cuts, which he called 'corporate welfare.'
- Offer targeted tax breaks for the middle class.
- Roll back tax cuts granted by the Bush administration to people earning over $200,000 a year.
- Close tax loopholes to companies moving jobs abroad and give breaks to firms keeping good-paying jobs at home.
- Pledged not to privatise Social Security or to cut benefits.
- Incentives to revitalise manufacturing and investment in technology and innovation.
- Pledged that as commander-in-chief he would never lead the United States into a preemptive war, only sending troops to battle 'a threat that was real and imminent.'
- Immediately reform intelligence gathering.
- Rebuild alliances with other nations.
- Ensure the United States would lead the global effort against nuclear proliferation.
- Add 40,000 active duty troops.
- Double the number of US special forces.
- End the military's heavy reliance on National Guard and
military reservists.
- Immediately implement the recommendations of the September 11 commission.
- Offer incentives that would save families $1,000 a year on health insurance costs.
- Allow Americans to buy prescription drugs from countries like Canada, where they are often less expensive."

Christian Slater: The masks we wear

Apparently, Christian Slater was at a strip club and was asked to leave. Why was he asked to leave, you ask?

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "Yes, Christian was asked to leave the club because he wouldn't take off his Nixon mask.''"

Because he wouldn't take off his Nixon mask. His Nixon mask. That just boggles my mind. Now, I have had the urge to wear masks in the past. On Halloween. Or perhaps at a professional wrestling show. I have not had the impulse to wear a mask and proceed to wear it to a strip club, making a solemn vow to not remove it. Have you? No? Didn't think so.

Balloons blow, at least sometimes



After John Kerry's speech, balloons were supposed to fall from the rafters. There were few balloons to be seen, especially at first. Also, somehow the show's producer's audio got patched into the CNN audio feed, and, well, you can read some of the results below. I was disappointed tonight to not see the usually spot on Daily Show not taking a shot at this event.

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "Go balloons. Balloons. What's happening balloons? There's not enough coming down. All balloons. Where the hell? There's nothing falling. What the fuck are you guys doing up there?"

Friday, July 30, 2004

I Wanna Be An Expert, Too!

On the front page of AOL tonight, I saw the sub-headline "Experts say sex... increases bliss." Yeah, no crap, Sherlock. Did these "experts" actually get paid to discover this? What's next, "experts say black people were slaves?" Ridiculous.

And the survey says...

The latest Zogby poll has Kerry up by five points overall, with a nine point lead among women, a 22 percent lead in the east, and a seven point lead in the west. They only have a one point lead with men, a two point lead in the south, and are down five points in the midwest. Still, these are promising results, and as the convention gets more press, Kerry should get more of a bump. It will be interesting to see if Kerry can maintain his lead through the Republican National Convention. But c'mon, do you really think Bush talking is going to give him much of a bump beyond his base? I don't think so.

PollingReport.com - Public Opinion Online

Thursday, July 29, 2004

Michael Moore vs. Florida: The Revenge



Your hero and mine, Michael Moore, has announced that he will have his cameras on hand to film the Florida elections this November, as well as a cadre of lawyers on call to fight any shady dealings. Will an ice cream truck be involved this time? We, and Moore, can only hope so.

Democracy Now! | Michael Moore: I Will Bring Cameras to Florida to Monitor November Election

Sharpton-riffic!



The highlight of the Democratic National Convention on Wednesday had to have been Al Sharpton. John Edwards was fine, but those of us that actually follow this kind of thing have heard that speech about 370,934 times by now. Give or take. Thankfully, that craaaazay Al Sharpton wasn't afraid to take his six minute scripted speech and turn it into an unscripted twenty.

Wonkette: "We got the civil rights act under Democrats. We got the voting rights act under Democrats. We got the right to organize under Democrats. Mr. President, in all due respect, Mr. President, read my lips, our vote is not for sale."

Kerry sisters lovin'



Wonkette is reporting that Ben Affleck is getting his Kerry on, baby! And not just John! Nope, he's been sited getting a little freakay -- OK, just kissing, but still -- Vanessa Kerry. Meanwhile, her tag team partner, aka sister, Alexandra has been spotted with "sensitive guy" John Cusack. You go Kerry sisters! Now, just be careful not to get all Christina on us, and it'll be all good!

Pay $26 for string!

VH1.com : Best Week Ever : Blog: "'Target (pronounced Tar-JAY)... is now selling red Kabbalah strings like the ones Madonna, Demi Moore and Britney Spears wear for $25.99. Listed as a 'hot buy' on Target's Web site, the string is 'believed to protect against the evil eye.' Each is guaranteed to have 'traveled to Israel, to the ancient tomb of Rachel the Matriarch, and returned imbued with the essence of protection.''"

Twenty-six bucks, folks. Uh, what? It's a piece of red string. That's got to be what, a nickel? A dime? Of course, this whole Hollywood obsession with the Kabbalah is nonsense as well. Insanity.

Anna York



OK, forget about that youngest of the convention delegates, Sarah Bender. For those of you worried about lusting over a seventeen year old, the crack Tap Out research staff has turned up the lovely miss Anna York. She's eighteen! She's also a former cheerleader, a recent high school graduate, and competed in the Miss Teen Tennessee beauty pageant. Enjoy!

Tough Crowd

This show just celebrated its 200th episode. For those who haven't caught it yet, it's definitely worth a look. It might not be quite the same level of humor as its lead in, the Daily Show, but it delivers a solid finish to the one two Comedy Central punch. It's on Monday through Thursday at 11:30. It gets the Mike Roe seal of approval!

Wednesday, July 28, 2004

Daughter Showdown



Kerry daughters? Meh. Bush daughters? Forget it! Yes, after much deliberation and study, the hottest daughter of a candidate has been found, and it's Cate Edwards! She's beautiful and she scored a freakin' 800 on her math SAT, twice! God bless America!



Hot pink!
Winter gear!

A Genius's View



Former pro wrestler and certifiable genius (He's a Harvard graduate!) Chris Nowinski is writing a fascinating series of columns from the Democratic National Convention. Here's a couple excerpts from his last couple updates:

"The television coverage of the convention doesn’t appeal to young people because it has fundamental flaws that can best be understood through comparisons to the sports-entertainment business.  The convention on television is an entertainment product – only it’s not entertaining.  Every WWE fan can recognize the convention planners stole a good deal from wrestling, but I don’t think they understand why people watch the WWE.  They borrowed our Titantron, but they don’t put any brilliantly packaged videos on it to engage us.  They borrowed our stage and ramp (changed to stairs), but nobody walks down it for dramatic effect. And what’s with the “elevator” entrance music? They have announcers, but the announcers don’t add any life to the show (where is JR when you need him?).  The only thing missing is the ring, but they don’t need that because there is nothing to fight over.

The outcomes in wrestling are predetermined, but we don’t tell our fans who will win before the show.  That would take all the fun out of the wrestlers “telling a story” and engaging the imaginations of the audience through their performances. 

This convention is so ridiculously scripted, packaged, manipulated, censored, and sanitized that there is no real reason for us to care.  The founding fathers must be turning in their graves."

For more of Chris's fascinating take on the convention, check out http://vote.wwe.com/news/Notesfromtheconvention.html.

Hot people like politics too!



Yes friends, this seventeen year old is the youngest delegate to the convention. She turns eighteen this October. Where's one of those Olsen Twins-esque countdown clocks when you need one? Plus, you know that, being involved with politics at such a young age, she's not only intelligent, but certifiably insane! Anyone know her religious affiliation? If she's a Christian, can someone get me her number? No? Darn.

Barack Obama

This guy is a superstar. For those saying "Who the freak is Barack Obama?", this guy was Tuesday night's keynote speaker at the Democratic National Convention. He not only rallied the crowd into a frothing frenzy, he did more than just stoke the Democratic base. He spoke across boundaries, even including the line "We worship an awesome God in the blue states." Not your typical Democratic talk, and this man is truly an inspiration. He has a bright future with the Democratic party, and I wish him luck as a senator.

WWE Raw: July 26th, 2004: The Power Of Two

This Monday, I had the pleasure of getting home late and completely missing the whole Raw Divas Search. Sadly, I missed the battle royal as well, but I guess I'll just have to get my A-Train fix somewhere else. Still, there's nothing like getting to watch wrestling television without filler, but merely two men putting out their all. No, it wasn't a five star match, nor should it have been. It accomplished the tasks presented to it very well, setting up Triple H/Eugene and helping Benoit but Triple H behind him as he ramped up for his SummerSlam match against Randy Orton. It also had some smaller subplots, including the Randy Orton/Triple H match which will likely take place at next year's WrestleMania, which was executed beautifully, with Orton nowhere to be seen while the rest of Evolution was at ringside. My only regret: I missed Kamala.

Tuesday, July 27, 2004

What's in a Name?

So, after going through possible titles for this blog, I decided on Tap Out. Still, I'm a big enough man to admit when I'm wrong, so feel free to include your suggestions by clicking that little comment button. Also, some other ideas I've been tossing around:

* Larger Than Life
* Mikeitude
* Absolutely Positive